Jan

23

True Story

January 23, 2010 by Brandon | 5 Comments

Wow. It’s been nearly a month and I’ve definitely been neglecting the site. I’m log over due I guess. A lot of big things have happened, but specifically there was an incident with a certain televangelist making what is possibly the most inane comment I’ve ever heard. Oh, wait. There’s this one. Forgot about that.

Well, at least one of those assholes is dead. Some might think me a terrible human being for saying this, but I truly look forward to the day that I will get to read that Pat Robertson is dead. I may even throw a party. He, Falwell, and all of those like him are the worst kind of predatory, greedy, hypocritical, and bigoted scum there is and the world will be far better with him dead than Osama bin Laden. It almost makes me wish there were a hell for them to burn for eternity in, and it makes me somewhat understand the desire that religious people have for some punishment in the afterlife for dickheads like these guys.

We can only hope Hugo Chávez assassinates him.

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Dec

26

Old News Is Good News

December 26, 2009 by Brandon | 3 Comments

December was a very busy month for me. As some of you know, I moved, and setting up a new apartment is time consuming to say the least.

So when I first heard this story, I didn’t have a chance to write about it. And what better time to write about a ”Christmas miracle” than the day after Christmas?

If you ask one year old Nicholas Coke’s mother, she’ll tell you her son is a miracle. He doesn’t do much that other one year olds do, but that’s to be expected when you’re born without a brain.

Yeah, that’s right. This child has no brain, just a brain stem which somehow allows his internal organs to at least function.

So tell me, how exactly is this a miracle? It’s a gift from God that he gave you a brainless child who will undoubtedly die within the next year, and has only survived this long as some sort of fluke? Your miracle is a child who will never even be able to precieve or appreciate the love you’ve given it?

It’s possible that they could just be speaking figuratively when they call him a miracle, but I somehow doubt it. I’m just facinated with these sort of things; when people take a horrible situation, and then claim it’s a miracle… like it somehow makes it all better. Like when there is a bad car accident and seven people are killed but it’s a miracle that the baby in the car, who now has no mommy, came out physically unscathed.

Miracles do not work that way. Not that they work at all, but if they did, that’s not how they would work. A glimmer of hope through a terrible tragedy is not a miracle. The idea that you’ve somehow become a stronger person after having been made to suffer is not a miracle. And a baby born without a brain, no matter how long it lives without it, is not a miracle, although it takes a person without a brain to think it is.

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Dec

25

Touchdown!

December 25, 2009 by Brandon | 3 Comments

Merry Christmas!

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Dec

11

Won’t Someone Think Of The Children?

December 11, 2009 by Brandon | 1 Comment

It’s official. The Duggars now have #19. Weighing in at just one pound, six ounces, Josie Brooklyn Duggar was delivered via an emergency Cesarean section yesterday after Michelle Duggar was airlifted to a hospital earlier in the week for gallbladder problems. The child is three month’s premature, and was due in March. I have no doubts that by March, the Queen Duggar will be incubating the next larva, which will secrete a sticky mucus in order to defy gravity and adhere itself to her uterine wall.

I honestly wonder what it’s going to take for them to realize how dangerous this is. I don’t believe they will be dissuaded by this little mishap. A premature baby? Pssh. It’s alive, and if it pulls through, it’ll probably just strengthen their resolve and belief that God is on their side. As terrible as this sounds, I wait – sitting with suspenseful anticipation of the day when she pushes out some horrific, gelatinous monstrosity, a freak of nature which will blink at her lovingly with its seven eyes, then release a wail from one of its three mouths which will strike deaf the kings of all nations, ushering in a thousand years of darkness.

Maybe then they will see the error of their ways.

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Dec

10

Mars Attacks! Or Russia. Which Ever.

December 10, 2009 by Brandon | 1 Comment

Some of you may have seen tales of a strange, spiral light that hovered in the skies of Norway on the 9th. It was a truly epic light show, indeed, and it was witnessed possibly by thousands of people.

It wasn’t long before the tinfoil hats were secured to people’s heads and the claims of aliens and UFOs began to fly. It’s important to note that I consider myself a skeptic, not just an atheist; you can bet there are many atheists out there who aren’t very skeptical of other claims, such as ghosts, UFOs, and Bigfoot. So while I honestly had absolutely no idea what was depicted in the videos and photos I saw of the event, I certainly wasn’t about to leap to the conclusion that extraterrestrials were making themselves known to humanity with a fireworks show.

I didn’t have to wait very long for my skepticism to pay off. It took just one day for an explanation to emerge. A Russian submarine in the White Sea, called the Dmitry Donskoi, apparently test-fired a Bulava missile on Wednesday, which malfunctioned before hitting its third stage. The Russian military has since confirmed this, and a British engineer named Doug Ellison put together a computer simulation of exactly what happened to the missile. It began to spiral out of control while leaking fuel, and the ejecta caused the interesting shape in the sky.

Science: 1, Tinfoil Hats: 0

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What is Fractal Wrongness?

The state of being wrong at every conceivable scale of resolution. That is, from a distance, a fractally wrong person's worldview is incorrect; and furthermore, if you zoom in on any small part of that person's worldview, that part is just as wrong as the whole worldview.

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